It has been my wish to return to nursing for a long while. By the time I'd given up the idea that there could be a chance for me to retrain in Singapore, I received a letter inviting me for a briefing about this return to Nursing programme, and my hopes rose, again.
After the interview came an interview the following week, and the Deputy Director of Nursing said she wanted someone who has more experience and can BE a staff nurse once retrained. The fact that I was trained overseas (UK) didn't help? (Go figure) as I was not used to the system and would not be able to cope? with the complicated, complex nature of a tertiary hospital.
It didn't matter that there would be a 3 month retraining course, it was too short a time and bore no resemblance to the real situation on wards, she said. I asked about other people wanting to retrain after stopping for so many years. She said because they were trained locally, they would know and understand the environment better and get back into the system faster.
She said she had reservations about me being able to handle the ward as a staff nurse... hmm, then how about those who just came out from ITE training? aren't they younger and just as lack in experience, if not worse I wonder? Ahh, but they would be trained here. So.. therein lies the difference... They'd rather get someone who is trained in Singapore.
Well, disappointment aside, I am more perplexed. Why was the door opened to me, only to close it as I approached it? Was it meant to be? Or was it a wild goose chase, like mis-understanding the will of God? I have had so many hiccups wrt to this nursing thing, was I forcing my will onto God? However, I certainly didn't force a briefing nor coerced an interview, so... what went wrong?
There were so many encouraging messages I received afterwards, with about 4 - 5 saying the same thing: "God has a better plan for me". His plans are always better than mine, amen, I am just frustrated that after all these years I am still unable to discern His ways.
I really want to follow His ways and walk His path rather than fumbling around getting stuck and getting lost. Am I missing something? Is there a blockage? Please Lord clear the channel so I can hear you better. I don't want to get elated and then after be deflated, really, I just want to hear You, and do Your will, whatever it may be.
It has always been my stand that Though the girls may not get the head start in life, Like learning musical instruments Nonetheless, I will support them, and let them Dream.
If they dare to dream, they dare to Pursue the Passion, and Passion is a great Motivator - Talent not withstanding.
It's with great pleasure to see One pursuing her passion Her talents, evident, in Drama, Debate, Acting, Singing... Probably at the expense of her academic work That... would be my headache
It's amazing too, that The other one is also coming Into her own 'Risking' the embarrassment she so fears To learn the one instrument She is so talented to play.
I know well that There is more to give Her talent is as deep as She is willing to venture as wide To develop To pursue Her dream, Her passion.
Regrets, I have a few, But then again, Too few to mention ..(My Way...)
If I were to live my life again, Perhaps I would allow myself to Pursue my Dream My Passion With the same Abundance The girls have To choose a career Based on my talents.
So now, I pray for Guidance & Wisdom For both girls, and me To have a balance between Practicality Without stifling their desires To Live The Dream Out.
Been a long time since I blogged, not that there was nothing to blog, there was plenty, perhaps there lies the problem: there were too much - too much to register, too much to reflect, too much to write down.
For one, I was involved in the movie called "Leap of Love", starring Wong Li Lin, Vernetta Lopez, Nadya Houtaglong, Jason Chan, Qi Yi Wu (known as 715), and Ananda, the lead guy from the horror film "Shutter". Ru Ping was my buddy and I was glad for it, with her experience and all.
It's been a long time since I acted and even longer since I was involved in a movie. Haha... The last time I was in a film, I was in P1, I think. To say I was thrilled when I finally realised I got the part, was well, an understatement, even though they made me dye my hair dark after I had just hi-lighted my hair 10 days earlier.
Acting for movie is so different from acting for TV, and the experience taught me a few more things. I realise, perhaps too late, that I cannot 'react' to the other person's behaviour. I really have to get into the emotion of the character, and let the other person handle his / her own part.
Some are more 'co-operative' than others, but bottom line, it's me. If I am the mother, I have to be the mother, and behave like one. Took me a long time to get my head round that, didn't help that I get so nervous I had so many re-takes... Didn't sit too well with the director.... Oops!
Oh well... Still, hope to have some more opportunities. Honest, it's a bug, this acting thing. The hours are not always sociable, the pay ain't gonna pay for a new car; but it's fun, and yes, I'd do it again if I can, provided I don't have to go to work straight after I had done an overnight shoot. I was up for about 72 hours straight. It was crazy and I was surprised I managed to keep my eyes opened.
Name: charisMA Home: Singapore About Me: Mom of 2 amazing n different girls. Love to sing, act n help people, even if it's just with a smile. See my complete profile Earworm:
