It has been my wish to return to nursing for a long while. By the time I'd given up the idea that there could be a chance for me to retrain in Singapore, I received a letter inviting me for a briefing about this return to Nursing programme, and my hopes rose, again.
After the interview came an interview the following week, and the Deputy Director of Nursing said she wanted someone who has more experience and can BE a staff nurse once retrained. The fact that I was trained overseas (UK) didn't help? (Go figure) as I was not used to the system and would not be able to cope? with the complicated, complex nature of a tertiary hospital.
It didn't matter that there would be a 3 month retraining course, it was too short a time and bore no resemblance to the real situation on wards, she said. I asked about other people wanting to retrain after stopping for so many years. She said because they were trained locally, they would know and understand the environment better and get back into the system faster.
She said she had reservations about me being able to handle the ward as a staff nurse... hmm, then how about those who just came out from ITE training? aren't they younger and just as lack in experience, if not worse I wonder? Ahh, but they would be trained here. So.. therein lies the difference... They'd rather get someone who is trained in Singapore.
Well, disappointment aside, I am more perplexed. Why was the door opened to me, only to close it as I approached it? Was it meant to be? Or was it a wild goose chase, like mis-understanding the will of God? I have had so many hiccups wrt to this nursing thing, was I forcing my will onto God? However, I certainly didn't force a briefing nor coerced an interview, so... what went wrong?
There were so many encouraging messages I received afterwards, with about 4 - 5 saying the same thing: "God has a better plan for me". His plans are always better than mine, amen, I am just frustrated that after all these years I am still unable to discern His ways.
I really want to follow His ways and walk His path rather than fumbling around getting stuck and getting lost. Am I missing something? Is there a blockage? Please Lord clear the channel so I can hear you better. I don't want to get elated and then after be deflated, really, I just want to hear You, and do Your will, whatever it may be.
Name: charisMA Home: Singapore About Me: Mom of 2 amazing n different girls. Love to sing, act n help people, even if it's just with a smile. See my complete profile Earworm:
