Could I have stopped it? As someone who had worked within the mental health industry for over 1 decade, I was impressed that there is an organisation, composed of like-minded people, who, fundamentally, want to prevent a loss of life through suicide. I have been to funerals of friends, friends of my children - yes, at the cusp of adulthood - who chose to end their lives. I witnessed the pain, the guilt on the faces of the loved ones they left behind: all begging a question- did I miss something? Or... Could I have stopped it? Many loved ones who are left behind would say there was no sign, no indicator. That would be fairly accurate. Not many are comfortable in sharing with their loved ones of their intention to end their lives. But, if we know what to look for, and where to look, there are usually signs aplenty. "Oh, that's easy for you to say", I hear someone muttering.... "You are a nurse!" Hahaha... No. During my days of training, we were not trained to observe for signs of suicidal tendencies. We might have noted them down due to prior attempts, or that the patient actually said something along the line of "I want to kill myself". Then, I worked in the mental health sector, and I hate to admit it, some of those whom we served, chose the kill themselves. We have counsellors, psychologists, and we, as nurses did all we could. We averted some actions, walked with some clients to resolve their issues, sent some who attempted to hospitals. But for some, we found out too late. After each and every such incident, as the manager, I had to submit a report. I would even check with the counsellors to see if there were any triggers or stressors, many times, the answer was either there was none, or none more than the usual. Yet I always carried a guilt - Did I miss anything. Joining the training by CFL was my way of finding out if I had done my best, and if I could have done more. It kind of helped me purge some of the guilt I was carrying and helped me to understanding what some of my clients were going through that resulted in them taking their own lives. More importantly, it helped me develop that sensitivity that would help anyone who is contemplating suicide to open up, rather than shutting down. Soon after, I decided to train, to pass on the knowledge that I had, so that more people are equipped with the skills to help others in their circle. We may not be able to save everyone. Suicide is a personal choice, a personal decision someone made to intentionally end their lives. But for many, they just needed a guiding hand to bring them away from a downward spiral. I would like to be the little boy who threw all the starfish that were washed ashore back into the ocean, knowing that he had made a difference to at least 1 starfish. To those who want to help, and get the training... connect with me here, or google to see what is available in your area / country / location. To those who are contemplating... reach out for help. It might not be as bleak as you originally thought. I was one of you. Blessings.
Labels: Events, Random, Reflection / Progress |
