((((...Ripples))))

How do you

2012-01-25T23:58:00.002+08:00

Soar like an eagle?

No seriously, have you ever given it a serious thought/

There is a Christian song, where we could rise and soar on eagle's wings, the lyrics based on a verse in Isaiah.

So I was watching National Geographic Channel where scientist were researching on how eagles fly.

It is generally accepted that eagles fly most elegantly, one never really sees an eagle fluttering through.

Rather, they glide, and when they glide in a rising air current, it's known as... soaring..

So when we are assured that in Him, we could rise and soar on eagle's wings, it's because of a warm air current lifting us to great heights...

& we don't even have to break out a sweat.

Imagine that!

Thank you Lord

2012-01-10T00:47:00.002+08:00

For giving me
TWO amazing daughters
Talented,
Smart,
Sensitive,
Understanding,
Caring, to a fault...

Thank you Lord..
I am really really blessed.

We have had

2012-01-05T23:10:00.001+08:00

quite a few mishaps:

Runaways & relapses,
Drowners & burners.

We strive on to
assist those who want to be helped
encourage those who need a little nudge

Frustrated with some little progress
Brimmed with pride for those who moved forward...

So it is most heartbreaking
to hear one of the fighters,
strugglers,
who had been doing well
working so hard
to eek out a living
died whilst he was working...

I don't know him well,
only that he managed to keep
his job for the last 4 years,
and the supervisors said
he was a great conscientious worker

In a warped way,
it was good you left
the way you did...
no senility
breaking down of an aging body...
but go
when the going was still good

your recovery was admirable
there was barely any
rants and raves
like others in similar shoe

Dear sir
you earned the stars
there are no more
taunts, struggles
highs, lows...
now rest, in peace, finally.

You will be missed.

My Prayer for 2012

2012-01-03T23:25:00.002+08:00

Oh, that You would
Bless me
Indeed,
And
ENLARGE my territory
that Your Hand
would be
with me, and that
You
would keep me
from evil
that
I may not
cause pain.
(1 Chronicles 4, v 9 - 10)

Six Needs in 2012

2012-01-02T04:59:00.002+08:00

The following is an excerpt from
Day Spring Devotions
I don't follow it enough
But what I quoted below
is, as always, just as relevant
for me, as I ponder
What is in store in 2012.

What you do need to know about the future is
not what is ahead of you, but
Who is ahead of you.
It is the Lord who goes before you,
is ahead of you,
and is preparing the way for you.

Your future is in His sure, strong, caring hands.

As you pass through the door of 2011
and enter the door of 2012,
here are six of the needs you are certain to have...

1. There will be the need for prayer
2. There will be the need to trust
3. There will be the need to obey
4. There will be the need to forgive
5. There will be the need to be faithful
6. There will be the need for Jesus.

(Courtesy from Roy Lessin)

I know it sounds like...
'duuuuhhhh'.. but to me,
it's an important reminder
and not reflective of a NEEDY person..

We said

2012-01-02T01:51:00.002+08:00

Goodbye to 2011 and
Ushered in 2012 last night.

Perhaps it's age...
But I didn't have as much
Enthusiasm as hoped...

Looking back to last year,
there was much anticipation.
I was literally embracing
the arrival of 2011.

Yet, now that 2011
has been and gone,
and one is looking at 2012
I can't say I was in
much of an anticipatory mood.

Don't get me wrong
I love my work more and more
by the day and
really look forward to
going to work.

My girls are doing great
in their respective areas
furthering their studies
living their lives well.

So why do I have
an unrest in me?
Not foreboding
but there seems to be a
Struggle
for contentment.

There is nothing to be concerned about
For what the Lord has started
He will have equipped
and provided
So press on in faith
Walk in the Path He has
carved out for you

Go, for the Lord goes with you
He will never leave you
Nor forsake you
Even until the ends of the earth (Matthew28v20)

Regarding a query I posed concerning intelligence of some govt employees..

2011-12-22T02:08:00.001+08:00

I kid u not- this actually happened last month... And the conversation went something like this...

Civilian: I'm here to report someone missing.
Police: who is this person?
Civilian: He's a vagrant but has been asked to stay at a centre by the court. Now he's missing..
Police: oh I see.. So this vagrant.. What's his home address??
Civilian: ?? He's a vagrant??
Police: oh errr yeah, so errr he lives on de street?
Civilian: yes, until recently. He's been in our centre for some time.
Police: errr ok.. Hmmm so this vagrant, what is his occupation??
Civilian: ....... 😲😲😲😲 !!!!
(tries v hard not to say - bumming ard on d street??!!)

We r to entrust them our lives?????

I give up!!!

2011-12-21T02:11:00.002+08:00

Tried to locate some of the links I shared / posted
Just because they were cute,
and I just about died trying to do that...

Technology - love it, hate it...
It's here, so we have to live with it and
make the best out of it.

just hope I can find the link,
some music triggered the memory...
wish there was a drop box or whatever
where I can collect all these links and videos I liked.

T'is he Time of the Year

2011-12-21T02:05:00.002+08:00

Well... It's Christmas once again.
Are the years getting shorter?
Or time flying by faster?

2011 seemed to have zoomed by really quickly
Here I am, staring and wondering
Where the past 12 months went.

All I can say is wherever it went
God had led the way throughout...

A wedding

2011-10-24T01:59:00.001+08:00

Can bring out
So many memories & emotions.

On listening to
The speech from
The bride's father this evening,
Where his fatherly love
Was displayed most evidently
My daughter asked
What I would say
On her wedding day.

I thought hard and
Answered,
"She was my first born.."
And started crying

Till now
I still couldn't understand
Why I cried

But as I wrote these lines
My eyes were wet again....
Wondering what I would say....

The last straw

2011-10-24T01:20:00.001+08:00

Came when she grabbed
His arm n asked
If he was having another
Family in Beijing....

Her son had stopped
Answering her calls
Even preferring to stay out
Till midnight.

He'd become rude to her
Can't blame him really

Try getting about
300 calls a day
& see how many days
You can last?

He lasted about 2 months.

She also called her husband
Except he's in Beijing
N so raked up a phone bill
That is 4-figured...

She had lost major
Rational judgment
Although she hid that v well
Thus no one detected,

Till now.

So w a heavy heart
I accompanied her husband
& brought her to the hospital
In order to get her treated

For adjustment disorder
Anxiety and depression.

My friend
Get well soon
I'll help you hold the forte
Till you are ready
To come out....

A family break

2011-10-11T01:08:00.001+08:00

Was what I decided on
as a way to celebrate my birth,
an 'uneventful occurrence'
some decades ago.
So off we went
to a Thai island by name of
Krabi, famed for
the sun, the sea
the beach n yes the corals.

Instead of the Thai greeting
"sawadika" that welcomed us,
what we received was
'showerdecrap' as it bucketed down.
Ok, so I am corny....

Of the few days we were there,
the sun made
a guest appearance for a few hrs
on my birthday...

Nonetheless, we had some
Decent family time,
N snorkeling
N horseback riding
N elephant trekking
All w some stories to tell.

But I would not trade
the trip w my family
No matter the cost... <3
thanks dears, I loved it..

Fragile

2011-10-11T00:49:00.001+08:00

Is the life that we live
Whether or not we have
Taken good care of it
Or watched it slip us by,
Or lived it to the full
Or filled it with empty dreams & lies.

We need incidentals
And accidentals
To slap us back to reality
To stun us into
A freeze frame.... and
Take stock.... And
Put things into perspective
Once again.

I just heard how close I was
To losing my uncle
How he faced
The demon of diseases
Without so much as a mutter

True, his family was there
Wife n children
He was not in want
For support

But to realize that we had
Even dined together
Only a day after he was discharged
Was, eerily unsettling.

I send out prayer request
Faster than I blink,

I sought for help
Before the slightest
Of aches n pains
Crippled me.

So this revelation humbled me
And put things into perspective -

There r problems and
there are PROBLEMS
Deal with it,
Observe the outcome
Move on...

Uncle, yr courage & strength
Shone through in the
Understated way you handled
Your illness.

We may not share the same beliefs
But you inspired me.
I thank God there is time
To learn more from you still.
Thank you for reminding me
Life is fragile.

A dear friend

2011-08-05T13:39:00.001+08:00

Just informed me he is
going back to India.
A great loss for the company,
n a great shame as
there's nothing one can do
to 'fix it'...
I thank God for this brother,
For his faithfulness in serving,
His love for God
And his love for his loved ones...
Bless u brother... Go n may yr
Stint here was fruitful

朋友

2011-07-26T13:57:00.001+08:00

一生可以有多少個真係話得係朋友嘅人？
但係我要親自送一個好友入醫院睇精神科醫生，咁就第一次。好辛苦，好痛苦。

Happy Father's Day

2011-06-19T10:38:00.004+08:00

May we take this opportunity

To thank the fathers out there

For the love you give

& the stability you provide

the family with your presence.

Mommies are often thought of

but Daddies, for some reasons,

less so...

So here is a day when you

Fathers out there,

Take centre stage...

Not forgetting

The Father in Heaven...

2011-06-19T10:33:00.002+08:00

So, the issues have been dealt with

In a different way...

Problems are still there,

I pray for miracles

They happened

But not in as dramatic a way

As I believed to be possible.

But then again,

I'm putting Him in a box...

So I will praise Him

For He did provide.

Thank you Lord...

When?

2011-04-27T02:17:00.005+08:00

This sounds melodramatic at worst

Hypochondriac at best

But I fear

Very slowly

I am slipping

Into

Depression.

I'm allowing myself

to be consumed with

computer games

rather than

Facing the problems

Squarely....

I don't know what to do anymore...

The amount that is needed

Just kept increasing..

More...

and more.

When is it going to be enough?

When is it going to

Stop being a problem?

How do I praise the Lord

In these kind of situation?

& Call Him

God of My Provision?

I wish I can do more...

2011-04-26T17:05:00.004+08:00

He was individualistic
An obvious patriach
W the family at his
Beck and call.

Refusing to speak in
Any other languages
They usually look for
mandarin speaking staff to
Help translate

But if he said no, it's a NO.

Until one day....
He heard me talking to
His neighbour in Cantonese

Intrigued, he started asking
Questions....
N the friendship began.

He became more agreeable,
The family would come to me.
For update, for support.

In turn, I would guide them
To the right source for info
& provide the support
The best I can
To the patient,
To the family.

Now... I found out that
He hadn't eaten properly
Since my last day there....
But finished the porridge
On the day I went by to visit.

He slept
most of the time
But tried to sit up
N chat w me..

Did I really manage
To encourage him so much?

Have I done more harm
Than good?

Did he start to rely on
A relative stranger
For his survival??

I pray his will to live continues
That the next time I visit,
He'd he healthier.....

Connection

2011-04-26T14:24:00.001+08:00

I have never been an
'instant hit' kind of person.
In all aspects of relationships
Professionally n personally.

Granted, it's a habit of mine
To make people feel comfortable...
Whether as a nurse or as a HR...

But to become a friend
Purely because he likes
To speak to me in Cantonese
That's a strange kind of
Connection.

2011-04-15T01:29:00.002+08:00

To Lead

Is to go before or go with, to show the way...

And one cannot lead well if one does not 'go before' or 'go with'...

Or unable to show the way in a clear manner...

To Inspire

Is to fill with an animating, quickening

Or exalting influence...

One has to somehow believe and love what they are doing

In order to inspire others.

There are some who inspires but cannot lead,

Then there are those who can lead, but not really inspire

When a person can lead and inspire others...

The passion / vision is then caught

And the fire passed on.

I am so proud of you, baby no. 1....

You are truly an inspirational leader

May the children remember

This SYF process and

Draw from the experience

For whatever they face in life.

And they, in turn,

Will pass the passion / fire on...

Poetry

2011-04-03T01:43:00.003+08:00

I used to think that

one must be so accomplished in literature

or at least the language

in which one writes poems

before venturing to make a total fool of oneself,

calling one's work... poetry...

Poetry does bring out the beauty of the language,

it also brings out the beauty of the heart of the author..

Love this quote..

‎"Poetry can startle you,

awaken you,

make you fall in love,

take your breath away.

When those words sink in,

you'll never look at your life

or your journey the same way again."

— Maria Shriver

The Limit

2011-03-18T18:41:00.001+08:00

When a woman walks down the aisle
to her awaiting, beaming husband-to-be,
has she considered the vow
she was about to make?

Likewise, as the man eyes
The fair maiden coming towards him,
Has he wondered if he could
Keep the vow declared before God n men?

For better, for worse,
For richer, for poorer,
In sickness n in health....
Do we know what we r
Getting ourselves into?

Trust me, in sickness,
We r worse rather than better,
N definitely get poorer too...
Hardly anyone is sweetie pie and
Sugar n spice when one is sick....
And all these promises r tested out
At the same time...

Can we really stick it out??

What is the limit?

Rest in Peace, Fish Bone

2011-02-23T02:47:00.003+08:00

The irony of blogging

about Fish Bone,

the whiny fur ball that went

missing over the weekend

was that this evening,

less than 48 hours

after we found him

and took him home....

he fell 11 storey down

and died in our arms as

we cabbed it to the 24 hour

emergency veterinary hospital...

With a heavy heart

we brought him home

and laid him to rest

at a place where he

could see the birds

and chew on the grass...

N.E.V.E.R. T.A.K.E. L.I.F.E. F.O.R. G.R.A.N.T.E.D.

Good bye Bone Bone...

Hope you had much fun

in our company as

we did in yours...

We love you...

We miss you....

Rest in Peace, baby

Once was lost but now found

2011-02-22T13:46:00.001+08:00

We human beings r strange.
Very strange indeed.
When a scrawny mangy kitten
was brought home
about 2 years ago,
it was made clear one
was not pleased.

It didn't help that this thing
meows constantly,
totally 2nd child syndrome
And claws the furniture to shreds.

His saving grace?
He loved cuddling up to me to sleep.
As in, really snuggling
right up to share my pillow.

In time, this scrawny little thing
Grew into a hefty furball
And sharing a pillow
Resulted in me having a stiff neck.

He clawed, he chewed,
he broke a bottle of whiskey
And sent my asthma off the roof.

Last Friday we noticed
He'd gone missing
Thus began the search,
Walking up and down
The whole block,
Floor by floor.

The slightest meow sent me
hurrying over to the source
Disappointed to find
It was not the one we sought.

The anguish of losing him
Surprised myself and
I prayed he had found
A better home that didn't mind
His many sins.

Baby no. 2 found him
Early Monday morn
At a god-forsaken hr
of 4am.

A constant meowing
Drove her to look for
this source of noise
Only to find him hiding
among some pot plants
8 levels down.

He was once lost
& now found
Somehow we don't seem
To mind the whiny wailing
2nd child attention seeking
Furball.

We're just glad he's home...
We missed him....

What is He trying to teach me?

2011-02-18T12:05:00.002+08:00

Been on a roller coaster regarding faith
& trust...
I don't understand what He is trying to teach me?
One moment, everything was falling in place
then within the same breath...
Everything was falling apart...

I am grabbing at every little straw
to keep afloat
But am I too naive and unrealistic?
Or have I been misunderstanding the situation
Utterly... Totally.... Hopelessly??

Lord please help me.. clarify the situation...
Help me to hold onto you
No matter what.....

2011-02-17T00:26:00.003+08:00

Daughter no. 1 treated me to a Christmas present while we were in LA last December...

A present of a different kind - a night of music, songs, stories and film clips to

"Remember The Ladies" by a British singer Toni Morrell...

She's everything that epitomize Blackpool, good old fashioned song and dance, not the hip hop or pop kind... but decent songs with proper lyrics and brilliant vocals, songs from musicals of old..

We were transported back to UK for a few hours, with Toni bringing out one special lady after another, remembering them through their songs, or songs from their movies, or songs that would best describe them...

We remembered Audrey Hepburn, Julie Andrews, Marilyn Monroe, Judy Garland, to name a few. But not all are entertainers / actresses.. we remembered too her own mother, Mother Teresa, and even Princess Diana.

The evening was really well spent, remembering the ladies, wish we were allowed to video the performance... Toni was really good, despite having a small-ish audience, she said she felt as if she was performing to the Royal Box - Now that's professionalism.

She is more comfortable now...

2011-02-17T00:16:00.003+08:00

No more sufferings, no more pain..

She'd gone through a lot... fought a good fight

Bought herself 6, 7 years of time.....

Hope she and her family utilize that time well.

She was still smiling and stuff on Saturday

& today she took a turn for the worse...

I don't know how to feel as I only met her on Saturday

then as I was about to work with her,

it was advised that I work with someone else since

she is too ill...

and now she is gone.

It's not that I feel guilty as

There was nothing I could have done

So it is not a guilt trip..

Nonetheless there is a void

Strange how there could be a connection

So quickly.

Rest in peace my dear....

Putting an old draft outta its misery

2011-01-24T01:25:00.002+08:00

This is just putting a draft blog out of its misery... and mine...

When is Christmas not a Christmas?

There was a song I learnt...

a long time ago...

that reflected on the meaning of Christmas

"Christmas isn't Christmas

Till it happens in your heart.....

Somewhere, deep inside you...

That's where Christmas really start...."

Christmas has been so

commercialised now that

I wonder how many really sees Christmas

For what it is...

Many sees Christmas as a time for

Traditions..spending time with

sometimes even estranged family

Tolerating one another

going through the rituals / motions....

Others sees Christmas as

getting pressies and spending

Money on useless gifts that

hopefully would not get recycled..

Many more sees Chrismtas as

the day before the crazy sale

when shops sell stuff at

a huge discounts...

Even in a country

where the phrase

"In God We Trust" is

printed on their paper bills....

We are as guilty as one another

When we fail to see that

Without the birth of Jesus...

There would be no Christmas...

& therefore what is the reason

for His birth?

We actually missed going to church

While we were away...

Which is really nice,

So on Christmas eve

We went to the nearest church

and did midnight mass..

An interesting experience as

I have not been to a Catholic service

Let alone a Catholic Christmas Eve

Watch Night Service..

But with carols and

Story of Jesus' birth

Told again...

I am reminded that

His birth was one

wit a mission...

We too... have a mission

Jesus has a story to tell

Through us...

So is yours? ours? a good story or

A bad one?

Refresher Course Uniform

2011-01-18T01:19:00.003+08:00

For my batch of intake, is pink tee shirt with collar..

pink....

as in PINK....

Has anyone ever seen me in P.I.N.K.?

Sheeesh...

"We shall overcome... we shall overcome...

we shall overcome... some day...."

2010-12-19T17:32:00.001+08:00

Let me love you for another day.

2010-12-18T03:51:00.004+08:00

When I thought the transition is going smoothly

and that I am really getting over him

I realised that I am not..

What for?

2010-12-10T17:57:00.001+08:00

My heart still squeezed when I saw his new picture.
Looks like he hadn't a care in the world. So why the heck do I pain for him still???
So darn stupid!!

2010-12-06T16:36:00.001+08:00

The only way of not thinking abt him is crowding him out w activities.
But in the quiet of nights, in the off guard moments, I find myself tearing up, weeping over him, the what ifs, the whys, the love not reciprocated....
I have been told I am supposed to love again, my question is: whom?

Tabula Rasa - Blank Slates

2010-11-21T17:35:00.002+08:00

Tabula Rasa apparently literally means "blank slate".

It is the epistemological thesis that individuals are born without built-in mental content and that their knowledge comes from experience and perception. Generally proponents of the tabula rasa thesis favour the "nurture" side of the nature versus nurture debate, when it comes to aspects of one's personality, social and emotional behaviour, and intelligence. (Wikipedia)

However, this is what I found interesting -

The term in Latin equates to the English "blank slate" (which refers to writing on a slate sheet in chalk) but comes from the Roman tabula or wax tablet, used for notes, which was blanked by heating the wax and then smoothing it to give a tabula rasa.

WOW, wax tablet, by heating the wax and smoothing it over, and using it again...

This kinda gives me an understanding of the completeness of God's forgiveness. The wax tablet can be written over again and again.

But to have the wax tablet smoothed over, it had to be brought to the heat, so the wax can be melted and smoothed over. Once it is done, one cannot see what was written on the wax tablet before... it is a clean slate...

My understanding is that one has to face the consequences of one's actions / sins. But when we once again, lay our lives at the feet at the Creator, and be washed by His blood, He sanctifies us and yes, as far as usability is concerned....well, the wax tablet can be written on again, so can our life pages... Hallelujah!!!

2010-11-15T00:29:00.002+08:00

Just heard a young girl of 21

an age when most are

Looking forward to a rosy future

is looking at an imminent future of

Operation, chemo / radio therapy

because she has cancer of the tongue..

Her faith is keeping her

Strong

She's asking others to

rally around to help

Keep her focused

& to rebuke her gently

That the Lord allowed this

in order to use her

to bring about His glory.

A girl of 21

with the wisdom and

faith equal to

Spiritual giants like

Corrie Ten Boom.

2010-11-14T23:41:00.000+08:00

“Without music life would be a mistake.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
German philosopher, philologist and poet.

2010-10-22T17:45:00.003+08:00

I hope to be able to settle down
One day, with someone who cares for me
& I for him...

A friend of mine is getting married again
Good on her, she deserves it.
I hope my time will come too
& that I don't have to wait too long.

A man who loves the Lord
Loves my family as his own

A man whom I can trust.

Last but not least....

A man who truly loves me....

2010-10-22T17:38:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I question myself
Who comes first?
(that is after my Saviour)
Friends? or Me?
& is it wise to put others first?

Helped out a friend recently
Now found that I am in a predicament
& No, this time, the friend can't help me.

Great... now, I am stuck
Have I been foolish?
More importantly
How do I get myself out of the situation?

I hope it is not a 'lesson' the Lord wants me to learn..
It's kinda expensive...

2010-10-10T23:59:00.005+08:00

A Domesticated Weekend!

Did the laundry,

Mopped the floor

Cooked family dinner....

Boy, I felt soooo domesticated!!!

Be doing ironing next...

Hahaha

2010-08-10T23:38:00.003+08:00

All things work for the good
of those who love Him.
I thank God for friends, those who really
want to look out for you.

Recently, I was getting disillusioned,
Wondering about my future, when
These dear friends reminded me
I had to think of the big picture,
Not the organisation's
but the one that is mine...

God's big picture for me...

It was then that the Lord's Peace
descended on me...
I realised that whatever that is to
happen to me
Could only happen to me because
it was part of God's plan, or that
there was a lesson to be learnt.

That no one can
change the plan that
God has for me.

That I would be
where He wants me to be,
even with detours.

Like Jonah.

Overnight, my anxiety lifted
I accepted whatever
that is planned for me
Not because I am a walk-over
But because God is in control.

Hallelujah!

2010-06-20T21:19:00.003+08:00

There is a big question mark in my mind
whether it is time for aimicable exit
as my fuse shortens with every
'confrontation'

I hate to use that word
but for lack of a better word
as even the term
"heated discussion"
seems to be too tame.

Just needing to remind myself
what the my reason of serving there was

2010-06-20T20:10:00.004+08:00

Happy Father's Day!

My children are celebrating Father's Day by
having dinner with him.
I like that...
No. 1 even lead worship with emphasis on the
love of our heavenly Father.
I like that even more.

God has been a wonderful Father to us.
To me and the girls.

One of the songs she chose,
which I love very much is called

Your Favourite Name is Father

So, to all the fathers out there, here's one for you.

Your Favourite Name is Father by Newsong 2003

Almighty God
Lord of all creation
Ancient of days
The Holy One
So many names You've given us to call You
But one remains
Your favorite name

[Chorus]
Your favorite name is Father
You love to hear Your children calling
You're there to catch us when we're falling
Your favorite name is Father

Eternal King
Alpha and Omega
Jehovah God
The mighty One
So many names You've given us to call You
But one remains
Your favorite name

[Chorus]
Your favorite name is Father
You love to hear Your children calling
You're there to catch us when we're falling
Your favorite name is Father

[Bridge]
Abba Father
Holy is Your name
Abba Father
Holy is Your name

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-08T23:41:00.004+08:00

I am so happy. The wait
seems to be
finally over.

Since end of 2002,
I have been praying for
the arrival of this day

I had prayed that the day
would arrive earlier

But

There were just so many obstacles
I really wondered if
I missed God's message somewhere..

Perhaps it's the timing
A series of events
and healings have to take place

Now, the time is right...

Finally...

at least I believe so

Is it time to follow the plan

Or to follow the heart?

2010-06-08T22:45:00.003+08:00

Playback Theatre

Not sure if we realised what we've opened up when
one was signed up for this Playback Theatre Workshop.

These 3 days of training opened my eyes to Playback Theatre
It helps me to appreciate the potential of Drama Therapy.

Playback is a powerful and useful tool, which to me
can be used to by counselors to understand
the behaviours / actions / reactions of some members.

My experience was interesting as I did not
choose memories or momentos that would
evoke much emotions

yet

during the playback of stories
many of the storytellers (myself included)
either saw the incidences in a new light
or were so touched and identified by the emotions
that there were tears, even the actors..

As the course progressed, I became more and more
intrigued and interested
Wondering if I could really
work on drama therapy
and use Playback
as a tool to help the members
to walk a little further with them
in their journeys of recovery.

2010-05-27T00:15:00.003+08:00

Faith

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. " Hebrews 11 v1

A casual remark from a new colleague kind of brought the understanding of faith to a new level for me recently.

It was an eye-opener for me to realise that there are arranged marriages, in this day and age.

In some cultures, a man and a woman become husband and wife, not as a result of a marathon courtship, or a whirlwind romance.

Rather, the couple who has every intention to keep the vow of "till death do us part" has probably just met each other on 2 - 3 occasions over a period of 2 - 3 months.

My colleague is a double masters graduate, brilliant, confident and a great conversationalist. She is the type that would have no trouble getting a guy. Yet she agreed to an arranged marriage?

Her answer to my question was simple: Her parents have never let her down, nor put her in a situation that was not for her own good, so why should she worry about their choice for her as a husband?

Wow! Chew on that! That is faith!

My colleague totally abandons herself in her parents' hands as her experiences with them had affirmed her belief that they always have her best interest at heart.

How much more can we trust in our heavenly Father who knows His plans for us and will give good gifts to those who ask Him?!

Matthew 7v 7 - 11
9 Is there anyone among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you then, although you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

2010-05-26T22:57:00.003+08:00

Quite a lot has been on my mind lately
Yet.. when I wanted to pen down my thoughts,
Or as in this case, type down my thoughts
Well, my mind went blank.

2010-05-24T00:07:00.000+08:00

Heard from a friend that a young man
just celebrated his 22 nd birthday
Decided that 22 years was enough time
to spend on earth.

He was 3 years older than my older one,
they used to worship in the same church
In the same Youth group

Vaguely remember him as a decent
pleasant and definitely happy youth.
What drove him to the point of no return?

Is it the pressure of growing up?
Has he been too 'protected'
that he couldn't handle any knocks?

From what i understand, he came from
a good Christian family
Loving parents
& a God he trusted in

or didn't trust in anymore....

If we don't believe that
our God can be trusted

....what do we have left?

2010-05-20T23:57:00.002+08:00

Considerate

What does being considerate mean?
It means putting the needs of others before yours.
It's also something I don't associate with cyclists, not all anyway.

I have never been a fan of cyclists who took over the pavement
Ringing that darn bell of theirs to tell people to get outta their ways.
Or riding abreast with their friends / families,
Taking over the whole pavement and
blocking anyone who dares to try to find a foothold between the wheels...

Then yesterday I was waiting for the bus at Pasir Ris
It was around school ending time and
Bus stops are chock full with people waiting for their buses.

One cyclist rode all the way up people's back,
clicking that un-ringing bell to tell people to move....
I rolled my eyes, wishing he'd ring that bell at me
and I will tell him to 'naff off'...

A tad later, another cyclist was riding the opposite direction
heading straight towards the same crowd again...
Then as he neared, he slowed and
Detoured a little to carry on his journey
without breathing down anyone's back
or shooing people away like they own the road.

That... is being considerate...
That is actually refreshing...

2010-05-12T00:31:00.003+08:00

He Never Changes

He can still use us and will still use us,
Inspite of our sins and other shortcomings

We only need to be willing to be
His vessel.

This was affirmed last weekend.

Thank you Lord..

2010-05-12T00:02:00.001+08:00

Accident and Emergency

Why do hospital A & E have such long response time?
I mean, it's A & E for crying out loud.
That means if it's not medical situations caused by accidents
Or if it's not an emergency, like severe asthma attack
Or chest pain implying heart attack
and other emergencies...
There really shouldn't be that long a queue?!

From Triage to finally seeing the doctor
We waited 3 hrs.
3 long hours of 'massive, overwhelming' pain
that was not addressed as we waited for the doctor.

How my daughter managed to cope with the pain
all that time confounded me.
The extent of her pain was such that
A second jab to ease the pain was necessary
when the first one did not even touch her.

One night on, they could not find anything wrong with her, so
she was placed under observation and will only be
discharged tomorrow am,
Provided there is no more serious pain.

Why no comprehensive, pro-active investigations and tests?
Coudn't that shorten the waiting and the 'observation' time?
Which equates to less grumpy patients and their relatives?

She saw someone dripping with blood due to some RTA
Like her, they waited a long time.
Why such long wait?
Shortness of staff?
Lack of consultation room?

The staff were nice and all
But the experience really left me
Disappointed, if not alarmed...

How will this hospital cope with
Large scale emergencies??

2010-05-08T23:35:00.001+08:00

A dear friend of mine
Taught me a precious lesson:
Take hold of the present
Appreciate what you have
Or you'll regret it when the time comes.

We all know that, I guess
But living it out, is not as easy
Then when we have to let it go
It becomes doubly hard
As we try to salvage a relationship
Or stretch an extra day.

I'm glad this friend grew stronger
For out of the experience
They both become more beautiful.

2010-05-08T23:01:00.003+08:00

Starry Starry Night...

Never knew a moonless night can be as beautiful as
the one I saw last Sunday.
The stars were positively glittering, sparkling
against the backdrop of black velvet.

The sound of waves, the soothing music of yester years
what a beautiful finale.
Memories I will take with me for a long time,
much thanks to the company too.

2010-05-08T22:52:00.002+08:00

I watched sunrise in KL.
As the sky turned from squid-ink black to milky white,
I sat in the hotel lobby,
willing the time to come for a holiday of sorts to begin.
It's a strange feeling, to be away from the family and
probably for the first time in a long while,
not needing to think about the family,
at least for a few days.

It felt rather selfish actually.

2010-04-27T00:52:00.003+08:00

Been wondering about why I feel safe with you.
I think it is because I know where we stand with one another,
that you are what you are, and being upfront about it.
So there is no misunderstanding,
No false expectations,
No empty promises.

That is good.

2010-04-12T23:02:00.003+08:00

I know what I am doing, whether it is right or not, that is not the issue.

It's a concious, informed choice, so I will take full responsibility for my actions.

There will be no regrets, and that's why the sense of lightness.

Too much thinking, mulling over, weighing of options and consequences are tiring and unfruitful.

Let me act on my decisions. At least some actions were taken, or one would never know what could have been or would have been..

Let me learn.

2010-04-08T01:07:00.003+08:00

"Aaachhhh, mommie you look lovely today"

Will always remember how my older one used to perk me up every morning with these parting words as I go to work.

Her cherubic face, her bright eyes, rosy cheeks and genuine adoration of her mother...
sure, other children might do that too... but with a lovely, beautiful, edinburgh accent??

i rest my case...

2010-03-30T23:47:00.003+08:00

Will He use me, despite my failings?
Will I be able to use His gifts
For the glory of His kingdom
For the ministry to His people
Still?

Availability... ability...

2010-03-29T01:22:00.002+08:00

Been mulling over some issues...
Thought about them, made decisions about them, unmade them.
Beat myself up about the resolutions that would never be kept...

Finally, I realised I shouldn't even try to think about the what-ifs or the perhaps...
Just leave it be - no expectation, no disappointment.

It's liberating.

2010-03-25T02:07:00.000+08:00

Verbal assualt is more hurtful than physical ones. 1 negative remark takes about 6 positive ones to even it out.

Why belittle people? Why criticise others? To elevate oneself?

There is life outside. There is a family behind every home. Everyone deserves positive remarks.

Catch people doing the right thing.

2010-03-24T23:46:00.003+08:00

Was reading my very early posts just now, realised there were some changes, in the things I shared about, in my thoughts and opinions.

I think I have temporarily lost sight of Him. Lost my joy and peace.

Have not lost my faith yet, for I know in whom I believe, and why...

2010-03-24T23:17:00.002+08:00

I would love to remove myself from the humdrum of things and take off .
For a holiday. For a while. Just some personal space...

When I do, I will be able to feel myself and get in touch with myself again.

When I do, I will find that on my return, more work had been piled up than what would have been the normal load, had I not removed myself from the humdrum at all...

Yeah, it sucks.

2010-03-12T01:26:00.001+08:00

Yup, as I expected....

All the resolutions are going straight out of the window.

Truly a case of "the Spirit is willing but......." ??

2010-03-08T22:22:00.003+08:00

Making a right decision does not necessary mean one feels any better about it.
Sometimes, it's with a heavy heart, especially when the decision goes against the wish or desire of the decision maker.

One contemplates the consequences of one's decisions. The action / the inaction...

Then, even though the decision has been made, there comes a day when the decision maker is tested, by circumstances, by inevitability.

Why do we make things so difficult for ourselves?

2010-03-07T01:19:00.002+08:00

"Love is not an affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained." -- C. S. L

This was lifted from a friend's 'status' on facebook. The quote is from CS Lewis.

Pretty accurate, in my opinion.

Guess this kind of confirms what I should do..

2010-03-05T18:20:00.000+08:00

Recently I had devotion led by a pastor. Learnt something from the Lord.

He said... deep inside the person knows what he should or should not do. But instead of obeying, he resisted, and that is dishonouring God.

Wow.. I have never thought of it that way. Not just disobedience, but dishonour....

Then he said that when he counseled that person, he told him to "kill the passion"....

Is it that easy?

2010-03-04T11:03:00.001+08:00

Is not important now. I know the answer to my own question... Stupid really, on my part, to want to hear the answer when I knew what it'd be..

My bad... Sorry.

2010-02-28T23:22:00.002+08:00

I was touched and blessed by today's ministry. The lady, named Debbie? shared her testimony about being a single mom and about being vulnerable and ended up being together with an unsavory character. She was hurt, abused and totally felt rotten.

I think I learnt a few things:

1. We will be vulnerable, at some point in our lives.
2. Someone who will take advantage of that.
3. God will always be there despite our many failures to take us back
4. We have to learn to forgive.

I wrote Debbie a letter as I had to run off to another church. I have experienced the power of forgiveness and I wanted to thank her and somehow, I ended up sharing my experience.

Something has cleared up for me, finally. Thank you Debbie. Thank you Lord.

2010-02-28T01:36:00.004+08:00

I have kept myself to myself all these years.
Yearning but never daring to venture
To do things that I would regret
Or hate myself for.

Yet now I find myself getting more and more fond of you.

Was it my own doing? Did I wish too hard?
I thought about what you'd said
and wondered if they were
Rehearsed or unguarded truth.

I revisit pictures to touch your face,
Look forward to your sporadic communication
Grin like a Cheshire cat when I get them
Yet feel stupid for such yearnings when I don't..

In a way, I had not wanted it to happen
To feel an attraction to a person
But somewhere deep inside me,
I wanted to be able to feel again...

You have helped me to be able to feel again.

2010-02-27T21:44:00.003+08:00

There have been some diverse opinions regarding the topic of re-marriage.
Most refers to Jesus' teaching from at least 2 gospels
Others hang onto one of the gospels which seems to give an escape clause.

One pastor I know was, and I think still is, pretty strict with regards to divorce and re-marriage.
No one who is divorced or re-married can serve in his church as leaders.
They can serve, but to be a leader, one has to set an example, which means being the legal spouse of the same person they were married to, the first time round.

In fact, he went to the extent that he would not officiate not attend any church members' wedding if it was the second time round.

His encouragement? Stay single, whether or not it was your fault. The Lord will bless you and use you mightily.

The decision was never mine to make...

One question I beg to have answered... am I not allowed to love and be loved again?

2010-02-25T02:07:00.003+08:00

There is a time and a season for things.
Hurting, Healing,
Getting, Giving,
Loving, Longing.

Without the hurt, one knows not the need for healing.
Healing may take a long while, but until we acknowledge
We were hurt and needed healing, no healing can take place.

God touched many people when we were in dire need
They blessed us with anonymous but practical gifts.
The getting of blessings motivates us that now, it's our turn to give.

There was a time when one idealised the notion of love.
That there really could be a living happily ever after
Having loved, one knows how their hearts will continue to long
For that special connection that God has destined for us.

2010-02-08T23:14:00.002+08:00

How to demoralise a person? Easy, hammer them with negative statements.

In one of the lectures I learnt, it takes about 6 positive statement to 'neutralise' 1 negative statement. 6. That means a simple "why couldn't you be more accurate with your work" would need 6 encourageing statements of "well done", "That's a great job", "thanks for your time", or "you look great", to help build up a person back to a level before they were brutally attacked by sharp chiding.

Are we such weaklings that we cannot take criticisms? Perhaps, but negative, angry statements have reduced big strapping men to start having doubts about themselves. That is the beginning of a self doubt, even a self hate spiral.

This is not a blaming exercise, a ranting "woe is me" session. Nor is it a "see what you have done to me" accusation.

It is a plea, to those power hungry people, who wants to feel they are better than others by constantly finding faults... that instead of spending time to backtrack and repair the damage (6 times over), tone and choice of words can help bring across a message with much more persuasion and cooperation from all around to get anything done.

I secretly believe these people who barks their way to the top is trying to get respect from the same people whom they are showing a total disrespect to, and that they are the people who have the greatest insecurity.

Pity really, for they yearn to get the exact thing that they are doing their darnest to push away.

2010-01-29T23:44:00.002+08:00

I felt both insulted and saddened recently when an on line chat turned rather... unpleasant.

It was totally unnecessary but I guess it was, in retrospect, or I would never know what kind of a person one can be.

Christian or not, our interpretations of the bible and other books can twist a truth into something that is lop-sided and fanatical.

It does not matter if one is fluent, even a master of the original language that the Bible was written in. In fact, the wealth of knowledge can be used to attack rather than encourage, to confuse instead of to clarify, to gloat rather than to guide.

In this day and age, there are still men who can get offended when they were requested not to 'shout' on line, and rebutted with something along the line that " I will not have any woman telling me how to write and I will not be put on a leash..."

Am I being judgemental? Or did I miss something here? I am being attacked because I asked someone not to shout?

This guy is a child of God and I am only a daughter of Eve? and that all ills that happened on earth was because of women wanted to be the head instead of the man, and therefore a woman must learn her place which includes not telling a man how to write?

There is an element of truth there, about women trying to be the head, sidelining the original order as God intended. That being said, the same could be applied to how man's stewardship of the earth has turned into such a mess! Men wants to be the boss of everything and ignores the fact that he was tasked to be the steward of all these, and not to abuse them.

Why am I rambling on about this? Guess it is because I am surprised that there are people who could interpret the Bible section by section without looking at the other aspects of God's character and ask if the 2 compliment or contradict each other...... Am I being judgemental?

I hope not, I really hope not...

2010-01-25T00:20:00.006+08:00

My travelogue seemed to have fallen into a black hole after writing about the first few days in HK. It would be a total pity if that was the end of the trip. But there was more. We packed our bags and checked out of the compact Casa Hotel. After breakfast, we took the MTR and proceeded to go to the train station to catch train to Shenzhen. Mom's advice to contact uncle David was the great advice indeed (moms really know best, whichever generation one is in).

Uncle David was waiting for us at the train station, timing it just right after I called him at the stop called "University"? Uncle David, together with Auntie Yong, picked us up from the train station and bus-ed it with us to the hotel they booked for us.

It's called HuBei Hotel, and man, it was nice.

2009-12-22T23:04:00.003+08:00

Wow... did 3 posts in one sitting. Now since when have I ever done that, huh??

Truth be told, I kinda kept a diary and typed most of the stuff out while on holiday in HK. Gonna be pretty hard for me to remember all the stuff in details, so yeah, these blogs do look more like a diary than some of my other rants and raves. But hey, I don't always rant and rave do I?

( I can just see my girls stiffling their giggles.... >.< )

There are more to come.. hehe

2009-12-22T22:18:00.012+08:00

28 November 2009

Baby 2 and I had done our homework. We googled to get the address of this cafe. Why?

This cafe is unique in that it has 7? 8? resident cats there. People go there not for the ambiance, although it is quite cozy, nor do they go for the coffee (they have none) not even the snacks (limited). They patronise the place to enjoy the cats' company, when they (the 4-legged ones) so inclined to grace us with their presences.

Customers hardly sat where they first plonked themselves. They usually move around to 'stalk' the cats... haha, for lack of a better word. Most are armed with cameras and the cats are totally unfazed by the attention, so long as one does not try to carry them.

The cats were so so so so soooooo cute! Their fur is shiny and clean, and, for a place that has 7 or 8 cats, the cafe was really clean! RIght outside the rest room for humans are 2 restrooms for cats. They are discreetly placed at a corner, and nope - you don't smell a thing!

Totally loved the afternoon.

2009-12-22T21:44:00.008+08:00

28 Nov 2009

Had a fitful sleep despite the fact that 3 of us piled onto the 2 beds last night. Baby 2 swore she didn't sleep properly. i was out, totally.

It's the free city tour today and we were up bright and early. Took the Ann's Travel coach to have dim sum, visited the Square where China gave a huge golden state flower (of Hong Kong), a diamond factory (where I won a piece of precious gem and paid HK$150 to have it set as a pendant).

We gave the temples at Causeway Bay a miss, after visiting Hong Kong's biggest yacht club in Aberdeen and went on a boat that took us round some of the fanciest yachts, moored alongside some shabby sampans that are home to some of the poorest families in Hong Kong - the irony is not lost on us... The government is subsidising these families to move them to live on shore, while the rich ones are buying larger yachts to be moored there??

Finally, we arrived at the chinese medicinal place where sales people were trying to flog us stuff. I didn't mind, except the woman who served us was both pushy and rude. In the end, we wandered somewhere else and yup, we bought from another sales lady instead.

At the end of the tour, we realised that although the tour is free, we have to pay the driver and the guide HK$50 each / pax, so that was $300 down the drain. They also took pictures of us and stuck them on some awful tacky gold-rimmed plates. I declined all but one, and that cost us another HK$150.

Afterwards, we grabbed some lunch at one of those tea restaurants that is such a craze now in Singapore, and for HK$ 78, (less than S$16) we had one of the best chicken rice - better than most coffee shops in Singapore, and 2 other lunches, drinks inclusive. Not bad, eh?

The afternoon was spent shopping along Cameron Road, my old neighbourhood, and looking for Choco Cat cafe. This was a surprise for baby 1.

2009-12-22T21:26:00.006+08:00

Still 27 Nov 2009

Our hotel was along Nathan road, near Yaumatei MTR. It's called CASA hotel and is considered a boutique hotel. Guess it is boutique for a reason - the place is absolutely dinky!!!

It took 5 steps for us to walk from the room to the bed, the TV was wall mounted, the cupboard was big enough for 4 hanging items and the toilet was a cubicle that was big enough for a wash basin, a toilet bowl and a standing space. One can either sit on the bog to shower, or stand in front of the wash basin to do that. (I kid you not).

Perhaps I am of the generous kind, in size, so the place looked ultra .... snug.

We pushed our beds together to fit the 3 of us, and momsie took the middle. It was cozy in a strange way and I loved being able to hug my girls in the same bed again!!! hehe

2009-12-21T02:57:00.006+08:00

27 November 2009

We are actually leaving for HK!!!

It was great to wake up knowing there was hardly anything needed doing / packing as we had done most of that the night before.

So, we dwaddled and did one more load of laundry, tidied up the house and cuddled the cats (although not enough was done)....

In the end, yup... we still had to cab it to the airport and got there too early to check in. After meeting with Victor, we decided to have some lunch at Popeye's before getting checked in.

God is good. Due to the fullness of flight, our hand carry luggage was checked into the plane right at the boarding gate, so we did not have to carry it in, making our boarding rather a breeze. =)))

Arriving at HK is really rather exciting. This is the first time we visit HK without my mother around, not even as our tour guide.

It makes our trip more 'free and easy' but definitely a lot more challenging. HK has changed so much. Anyway, we took a long time to look for the guide who was supposed to pick us up and send us to the hotel. The airport was so huge, we took some time before we can find the meeting point, by then, we missed one bus. Then we went to the toilet, had a coffee, and waited for the guide - at the wrong place, and missed the bus again... in all, we were only able to get on the bus at 9.15 and get to the hotel by about 10 pm...

But, Hong Kong being the city that never sleeps, we were able to find some place for chow down about 10.30 and walked along Temple Street night market. Yes we did our first bit of shopping within hrs of landing...

2009-11-02T22:27:00.002+08:00

Yippeee!!! We are going to Hong Kong!!!! I am excited, and apprehensive, as this time, we are not travelling with my mom and I am planning on the trip to China to see my dad.
Just booked the tickets, which was plenty plenty expensive. But I do believe it is God's will as He provided me with the extra funding for it.
The girls are coming and I really would love to be able to meet up with friends. Can't wait.
Hong Kong, here we come!!!!

2009-10-13T00:07:00.003+08:00

Providing for children is one of the privileges of parents. It is also one of the great concerns. I would have loved to provide more for the children, and give them anything and everything that is deemed fit and useful - not indulgence, but, giving the best head start possible.

Just wished I had started saving more, earlier. Now everything seemed inadequate, except looking up to the Lord for direction, for provision...

2009-10-12T23:39:00.003+08:00

I totally loved how my birthday was celebrated. We had stocked up on the spirits from our various trips and finally I realised that I was not gonna have any of 'em till THE day.

Blessed with great colleagues, the birthday was celebrated one day before with a nice yummy black forest cake... yummy!!!!

Then, the day came and I was treated to a Swensen's ice cream and of course, the little get together in the evening.

The party guests consists of both my friends and my daughter's, some of them are considered godsons and part of the family. It was really nice to meet them, as we don't meet up as often as we liked.

I didn't feel a year older. More like, a year 'richer' and more blessed. Yes, much has happened this year, besides work.

An uncle lost, an old friend re-connected.... God is good, and He is still in control.

2009-08-06T14:21:00.002+08:00

My salvation was brought right into my face during the company's retreat last weekend.
On 1 August, which was a Saturday, I received a call from my uncle in Singapore.
Uncle Robert is not one for chitchat, so his calls always meant something, either good or bad. He then told me to let my mom know that her youngest brother, Uncle Johnny had died, aged 61. Although we have no idea what it was that took his life.

As a first generation Christian, I have failed to share my belief to my nearest and dearest, even my mother's 'conversion' was somewhat under confused state. She had wanted to experience the peace that I had, and ended up being told to repeat the sinner's prayer.

Now, reality kicks in... I know I am saved, but what about my family? Are they? Am I doing anything about it? What is it worth, my own salvation, when my loved ones are not?

2009-07-11T23:18:00.002+08:00

Mommy Diaries

Channel surfing brought me to this programme called "Mommy Diaries". This episode was really poignant. 2 mothers were preparing themselves as well as their children for their demises.

One mother was busy building up her memory box for her 2 teenage girls, with a 'mother's manual'. In it, she wrote about her opinions on school, career, sex, dealing with misfortunes and other things that are normally 'caught' from mothers, rather than being 'taught'.

Another mother had sewed a patch work blanket for her older one, and now she felt the urgency to sew one for her younger one. She also decided to marry her long term partner, father of her girls, so there would be a great happy event for the children to remember.

Both mothers are dying of cancer, neither sure how much time they have, except that it is limited. Both trying to put on a brave face, for their children, for their partners; both breaking down, lamenting lost opportunities of seeing their children graduate, or going to their proms, or just seeing them getting off the school bus.

They also had little 'luggage tags' on which they wrote down each and every single thing they remember something about their children, like on one of the tags, the mother wrote " You got a great report card in your 6th grade, well done! Keep it up!" These sweet memories help the mother to tell the children she loves them, one more time, and they help the children to remember the happier things and happier times when the mother is no longer around.

I feel a tinge of sadness watching the programme, but it does spur me to remember to tell my children how much I love them one more time, and perhaps start my own memory box for them, for we don't know when we are due to meet our Creator.

Death really puts things into prospective doesn't it?

2009-07-11T21:19:00.006+08:00

On 11 July1987, I woke up at Esther and John's home in Camberwell, London and started slowly pampering myself.
My father was waiting downstairs, solemn as he always was, all the more as he got himself all suited up....

Soon, my dear friends Adah and Sara arrived. They looked lovely in their peach cocktail dresses with lace sashes. Actually I can't remember who made it, although I know the style was Adah's idea.
They went upstairs, Sara busy with her make up and Adah, well, she always went 'au-natural'...
I had done my own make up, moussed my permed hair and slipped into my gown.

Yes my gown - my wedding gown.

22 years ago today, my fiance and I got married, in front of over 200 family and friends. We exchanged our vows, promising to love and care for each other, till death us do part.

Well, there was no death, but there was parting.

However, I celebrate today, as we did have many happy memories, and without the wedding, the marriage, there would have been no children. Perhaps the purpose of the marriage was the children, and an opportunity for us to learn: about life, about love, about the death of a relationship, so that we, in turn, could help others in similar situation.

So yes, I still would celebrate this day, and would still remember this day as my anniversary, and thank God for all that was, and is, and is to come. Praise God.

2009-07-03T02:54:00.003+08:00

An original Angel has fallen

Farah Fawcett, one of the original Charlies' Angels, died last week.
She was gorgeous in her heydays, a model with legs up to her chest...
Reminded me of Barbie doll.

Then of course, the king of pop - MJ, a man who craved privacy as much as he craved publicity, in life, and in death.

Today, the guy who acted as Mike Stone in Streets of San Francisco, died in his sleep.

Death waits for no one and is probably the fairest of all. It comes to all, until then...

how useful have we been in this life?

Arrrrggghhhh... hate it when I can't sleep, coming out with such posts.

2009-07-03T01:10:00.001+08:00

I heard from my girls that a 14 year old student jumped off a building instead of going to school yesterday.

Pretty final and drastic action over some quarrels.

& to leave notes to these friends telling them what she couldn't tell them when she was alive.
No doubt they must be serious issues.
Think I'd be haunted with a dreadful sense of guilt, especially if issues could have been resolved with understanding.
& if I was one of those friends who couldn't have cared anyway, well, what did her death mean?

What a waste of life..
Perhaps I have seen too many deaths, too many misfortunes; too many curve balls that I realise tomorrow can be a better day.

We have to make it happen, that better day. If not tomorrow, then the day after tomorrow.
One day, you will turn round, and realise that because of these curve balls, you learnt to duck better; you learnt to anticipate and adapt better.

Just wish that she could have talked to somebody, anybody who could show her nothing deserved her paying the price with her life.

What a waste.

2009-06-03T21:40:00.000+08:00

Well, it was good bye to my dragonfly blog page and my no. 1 baby helped developed the current blog page...
it is so nice! neat and very personal.
Zipper, Natasha on the brown sofabed in our Mottingham home in London
Baby 1 and 2 at the first rental home in Singapore at 241
The last evening we spent in LA during the last trip....
Memories... memories....

I have an emptiness inside me that i cannot put a finger on...................

2009-06-02T23:11:00.001+08:00

ISN'T MY FIRSTBORN THEEEE BESTEST!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK

2009-05-25T08:35:00.001+08:00

When I shall Die
by Anna

When I shall die,
I shall do it myself
Nobody shall do it for me.
When I am ready,
I shall say,
"Fin, stand me up",
and I shall look
and laugh merry.
If I fall down,
I shall be dead.

I hope I am not infringing on
any copy rights here...

That poem was written by
a semi-illiterate girl
called Anna,
who lived in the streets of London
in the 1930s...

In her short little life,
with sadness and tragedy
around her...
She had some interesting
insightful understanding
of our God...

The book is called
"Mister God, This is Anna"
by a guy simply known as
Fynn.

I read the book years ago
Somehow, it kind of surfaced
again...

like some
suppressed emotions
forgotten memories...

2009-05-17T11:29:00.004+08:00

I saw a stack of old receipts lying on the floor

So naturally I went to pick them up, and in so doing rekindled some happier times....

The receipts were for simple stuff:
towels, lipsticks and some tights.. so what's the big?

well, they were bought from JCPenny, Nordstrom and Torrid respectively..

They were from one of the last shopping trip in LA, US beginning of this year..

Yup, Christmas, New Year, Dad's 80th Birthday....
Family... Cousins, Nephews...

Missing them dreadfully =(

2009-05-11T23:00:00.001+08:00

It was a little belated
"Mother's Day" gift,
But totally forgivable....
When I indulged in a
Wonderful
Relaxing
Luxurious
Spa-time EVER!!!!

Bang in the middle of town
This haven is such
a perfect
Hide-away from town
In the middle of town

Anyway, no massages
No facials
just steam bath
Jacuzzi, Whirlpool
Cool plunge
Believe me, it was
COLD plunge...
Healthy tea..
Rest room..

I mean
A room where
one rests from
the hard work of
Jacuzzi, Whirlpool...
Steam room....

You get the drift.

Now that's what
I called
A day off.......

*sigh........

2009-05-07T00:30:00.000+08:00

I am a grandma!!
Actually this post is like
Long time coming

I mean...
Baby is about, what,
4 months old now?

Her arrival was really
quite unexpected..

Haha.. aren't they always??

Anyway, her mommy
Had some sleepless nights
When baby just wouldn't settle
No matter what

She was so playful
We were at our wits' end
had to take over
couple of times

Not that I minded..
Did bring back memories though
the mess
the hair
the cleaning up....

It has been a long time
since we have to
care for someone
so small...
so vulnerable....

She is so 'manja'... hehe
so nice to have her
Cuddling up to us at night.

Such a cute lil thing...
Ohoh... and she has her
Very own collar
& carrier too!

It took some getting used to,
but Buttons is willing
to wear the collar
so long as it doesn't have a
Bell...

2009-05-06T23:30:00.001+08:00

I'd gotten quite addicted
to this Face book game
"Word Play" or
something like that..

Anyway, it's trying to
make up as many words
as you can in a limited
time frame

It has some variation
and one of them
is the word grid..

So my score ain't brill
But since I am the only
Other person to play it
among my friends
I am currently leading...

Worked on it a bit tonight
and hit a high score
Guess what??

The darn thing couldn't load
so the high score
ain't recorded....

Now don't I just have
all the luck??

2009-04-29T23:44:00.003+08:00

I really have to learn
Not to count my chickens
even though I may have been
collecting eggs for a long while.

I have been getting some
supplements to my income
for about 2 years.

It started with helping
some ex-students temporarily
but somehow the students
Stuck with me.

So it came as a surprise
when the mom came in
and said she's stopping
All tuitions...

That's what she said...
But I have my doubts..

Anyway, I hope
This does not mean
The time of God's Favour
has come to an end.

When the going is bad
I yearn for God's favour
to be upon me

When the going got better
I fear God's favour
would not last

Now seemed like
What I feared most
Became a reality.

Increase in expenses
Decrease in income...
Gonna have to tough it out....

2009-04-28T22:05:00.002+08:00

SWINE FLU ALERT!!!!!

There is swine flu alert
all over the world as
California, Mexico even Korea
Has reported cases of
People getting infected
with the flu

This morning, over 140 deaths
were reported from Mexico

Hospitals and our centre
are now on Yellow alert
pending Orange at any time

This brought memories back
from the SARS attack
a few years back...
Although this time
it's a lot closer to home

So my cold
warranted me going
back home to rest.

I felt bad for the
Work I left behind
Although I guess
It's only wise
for my fellow colleagues

So We have to be
careful and keep healthy
and be responsible
by washing hands properly
and stay home to rest when unwell

Take care everyone
Vitamin C, rest and
Lots of water
Common sense really, isn't it?

2009-04-24T08:00:00.001+08:00

CREDIT CARDS = DEBT CARDS!!!!!

How many times
have we heard that on TV
& how many times
have we agreed
but how many times
have we taken heed??

The ease of purchase
The simplicity of acquisition
The illusion of still having
a decent bank balance!!

I was watching a programme
"Till Debt Do Us Part"
when most of the couples
are challenged to put
their house in order,
so to speak.

What is scary is that
By projection
Most of these couples
Would have accumulated
Their debts,
Rather than consolidating them

The figures go up to
hundreds of thousands...
that's quite a few ZEROS!!!

What a rude awakening!
With the recession
& instability of jobs
It is wise to be a bit
prudent and
spend much less than what
one is used to...

2009-04-19T14:46:00.002+08:00

Am sick out of my skull today.
Haven't felt this way for a long time
When I was ploughing through
The back log of stuff at work
Worried sick about the
Trouble I was in
I wished I was sick
So I need not go in to work.

Now the work done,
The flu came! Typical!!

2009-03-24T13:25:00.003+08:00

Ma baby turned 18 last week.
I attempted to throw her
a surprise party....
But she knew something was up
and it has to do with
her friends, and me.

Well, anyway, we had a good time
actually we had a great time.
Everyone was suitably happy
No one was performing the
Mer-lion act.

What happened a few days later
was a totally different story
At least that was at home
and there were no
Embarrassing scenes...

Strange though
Now that she is 18,
She is not overly excited
about all the 'legal age' stuff
Probably because it really
is no big for her... haha

My baby is all grown up now........

2009-02-22T23:00:00.001+08:00

Think it's that time in
One's life now...
when one wonders
at every cycle
whether it could be
the Last.

Different people
suffer menopause
Differently...

But we were always told
Our mood swings
get darn ... well
swinging! haha

So be warned girls,
Your mood swings could include...
Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty,
Sleepy Bloaty, Forgetful & Psycho...